Swearing my Fealty: Affynity's Oath to the Viking
by Affynity
Summary: This should be read after Chapter 7 of Dead Backwards. My faithful readers have expressed much concern over some of the things contained in that chapter have caused turmoil. This is the easiest solution other than altering my story which I DO NOT want!


**Swearing my Fealty: Affynity's Oath to the Viking's GP**

Somewhere - Area 5, Northern Louisiana

Here I am broke down on the side of the road in the middle of the night. Damn clunker of a rental. I have limited signal on my cellphone I knew that I should have extended my coverage plan before I left Nevada. Pacing up and down highway 71 along the shoulder of the road searching for a signal that is elusive as the jackalope. This can not be happening I have an appointment one that I must keep. I have never feared anything in my life as much as I fear missing this appointment.

"Ah ha! A signal." _'Don't move, don't move.'_ I flip open my cell and hurriedly dial 411.

"AT&T directory assistance. What city and state please?" God damn automated motherfucking machines no wonder the economy is in a slump. I believe with all my heart there isn't a live operator in the entire united states.

"Shreveport, Louisiana."

"Ma'am did you say Shreveport, Louisiana?"

"Yes, I would like the number for Fangtasia."

"Please hold I will connect your call."

RING

RING

RING

"Fangtasia the bar with a bite this is Pam."

"Pam this is Affynity and I have an appointment with Mr. Northman in about 20 minutes but I have broken down."

"Oh, My favorite author. I will inform the Master immediately. Just a moment."

"This is Eric."

"Mr. Northman I am sorry to keep you waiting but I am going to be late for our appointment."

"Author this better be good I am a busy vampire as you know I took time away from wooing Sookie tonight to take a meeting with you."

"I sincerely apologize. I have broken down in my rental car."

"I will see what I can do to retrieve you author."

"Thank you Mr. Northman."

Click _'Typical vampire behavior I am going to have Sookie teach them some phone __etiquette__.'_

*~ };- ~*

Fifteen minutes later a screaming blood red corvette screeched to halt less than two feet from me. The Viking Vampire Sheriff stepped from the vehicle and nodded to me.

"No wonder it broke down it's older than Sookie's Chevette."

"Believe me I cussed it and kicked it. It managed to break down where I have minimal cell service."

"I will have it towed back to the rental and your money refunded." I nodded and he ushered me to the corvette. We sat in silence the 12 minute ride to the bar.

*~ };- ~*

I sat in the office taking in my surroundings. Much happier to be away from the highway and anyone that might murder me for any reason at all. Louisiana is a mecca for supes. Some of them deadly and others are just dead.

"Mr. Northman I will try to be as brief as possible, but my readers and expressing concern about your intentions and feelings regarding one Sookie Stackhouse. I wanted this opportunity for you to be able to speak to them in your own words and quell their fears."

"Someone dares question me? I have no need to divulge private information to anyone all will be revealed or it won't."

"So, you are unwilling to answer my questions? I would have preferred this information before I took the four hour flight from Nevada to here."

"Author I am sure that the King of Nevada will more than compensate you for your time."

"Mr. Northman I mean no disrespect when I say that I have already been paid but I do have a husband at home. Being jet lagged, stranded, irritated, unable to contact a living soul for more than 15 minutes, being on my period, and dealing with being jerked around. I say that since I am in your office you are the one with a problem on your hands."

"My my you are quite testy author."

"Ha you haven't seen shit yet. Now are you going to answer the questions that I have or is this meeting over? I must warn you though if you dismiss me I will make sure that Sookie dismisses your gracious plenty."

"Impossible. She simply can not."

"Oh you call me author do you not, test me if you wish. Ask anything to appear here in front of us and it will."

"I demand that you get me The Ramones."

I took out my steno pad I and wrote, _'The Ramones entered the office in rocker fashion with undead groupies flanking them. __Joey, Johnny, and Dee Dee Ramone waltzed into the office with a ghostly rendition of "I wanna be sedated" seemingly coming from nowhere and everywhere at once.'_ It isn't often that you can shock a vampire speechless much less one as old as 1000 year old Viking Eric Northman.

"Alright omnipotent author I will answer your questions."

"I want the truth and in great detail."

"You have my word."

*~ };- ~*

A: "Alright most of these questions concern Chapter 7. My readers were most upset and irate about your actions with a certain waitress. Can you please tell us why you chose Katy as your bed mate on the night of November 21st?"

E: "That is what this is all about? Needs. Pure. And. Simple. Your readers need to understand that in my _human_ life my father was a chieftain in those days everything was arranged. I was not the oldest, my brother Leif, was four years older than I was and married at 15. His wife was dutiful and strong. When my brother was killed in battle it fell to the family to take care of her. ME so at 17 I returned from a-viking and married his wife as my duty and raised their children as well as our own. Anyway we had children in quick secession. She died in childbirth the child died as well. My father had arranged another marriage for me and I refused many times. During the time that I was alone and inconsolable in my grief I visited frells (Old Norse for hooker). One of them was my favorite. I hate speaking of her but for your readers I will. She was disgusted with my ability to please a woman properly. She trained me and needless to say her golden rule was a man never comes before a woman. That first night with her was full of surprises and learning experience. Anyway I regress from the past and continue with with the very recent events. No matter what they say us "Vikings" never raped anyone. Willing bed mates are much more fun. I chose Katy because she was apprehensive about vampires to begin with. She may be a good waitress, but if you are jumpy on the floor she won't last long here. I put her at ease without the use of glamor. Women are to be cherished even if only a short while. I can not undo 1000 years of mindset in one day."

A: "That is a glorious bit of history, not only yours, but insight into how your people lived I thank you for sharing. Why didn't you glamor her to get what you wanted?"

E: "Author for being omnipotent you sure don't have any clue about the inner workings of vampire abilities. Glamor is a tool it changes the person and puts them under _control_. If I wanted to have sex with a mindless robot I would buy a sex toy where is the fun in that. Can you imagine giving commands while trying to loose yourself in a moment. Hardly. The NVL has said that synthetic blood can sustain us. That is true, but for a vampire feeding and sex go hand in hand. So unless the Tru Blood manufacturers are going to sell blood bags with a case of the vile tasting synthetic it is only a ploy. Nothing compares to the warm blood straight from the source."

A: "The readers have somewhat of a back story on the events in the future. I can't tell you any of it so don't ask it will severely affect your relationship with Miss Stackhouse. My readers are the most upset that you let Katy touch your fangs."

E: "**Snort**. You have information on my future and you refuse to divulge it to me author you realize that I can drain you were you set and no one would miss you correct!"

A: "That is an absolute falsehood Mr. Northman. The future of you and Sookie as it stands now needs ME! The future that they know of is an alternate reality with a different author. She is your omnipotent creator as where you are my pawn. I just use your life experience from her universe and twist it to suit my needs. Drain me if you must but you will never get what you are seeing from Sookie and if you think that it is mere sex you are sadly mistaken. We are here about your actions and not mine keep that in mind and stay on topic. I know you have total recall but would you like me to reiterate my statement?"

E: "That will not be necessary. In the heat of any moment anything is possible. Although I might need a bit more information as to why this little thing is such a transgression."

A: "Fine! Your omnipotent creator who shall remain nameless makes it just an intimate act as sex if not more so. My readers know where you come from and the things that are out of cannon really mess with their heads to a massive extent. They feel that for one by telling Sookie that you want to get to know her, and two taking Katy to your office and having your way with her in such a tender fashion and allowing said fang feeling to happen you have cheated on Sookie."

E: "What! Preposterous! Vampires do not "cheat" we merely do not enter into monogamous relationships. I have vowed different to Miss Stackhouse last night of course. Because I intend to carry out said promise. But as for the matter at hand I only stated that I wanted to get to know her outside of work and would wait as long as it took for her to come around. Well from that time forward until last night it took as long as it did. Which was too long. So to set the "readers" straight we were not in a committed relationship therefor there was no "cheating". As for the fang touching I sincerely apologize to your faithful readers and hope that when I say I can now understand what has happened will be purely in my past. A what is it you humans have "Bachelor party"."

A: "I have been praised for my lemon writing skills several times. It is not hard to channel the Viking for me. My readers seem to think that although your player days "may" be over that you have invested too much time and effort into giving and receiving are there any foundations to those claims?"

E: "I would like to praise you for those lemon skills as well. My cock has never been so happy."

A: "You know I am your voice stop making me sound conceited."

E: "Whats conceited when your good your good I should know. I have had 1000 years of praise. That just means that you need to accept your skills and stroke your ego Miss Affynity."

A: "Thank you for the compliment."

E: "Back to the matter at hand, those sexual escapades were that escapades what do I have to do to redeem myself and you to the ones that make it all worth it?"

A: "I have been racking my brain trying to figure it out and I think if you answer this next question it might help some. We all think that you made a huge mistake not glamoring Katy before she left. Can we fix this?"

E: "By the gods you all are persistent. But I agree maybe this will return my faithful flock unto your fold our mighty Author Goddess."

He picked up the phone and called Pam. "Is Katy here tonight? She is can you bring her in here. We need to glamor her. No you will do it. Make sure she forgets that she was with me, and that she felt my fangs. Yes. Alright. No she can remember the rest of the experience just not the vampire or the fangs. OK three minutes."

The short time passed and there was a knock on the door.

"Enter"

P: "Master I do not see the point in this but I will do as you command. Katy several nights ago you were in the office with a male vampire. This vampire pleasured you immensely you enjoyed yourself and in no way did you touch his fangs. You will wait here for two minutes and return to your duties."

"Satisfied?"

"That will be all Pam."

When Katy left the office she was still under the effects of the glamor.

E: "I hope that this doesn't become a usual occurrence."

"The only way that will happen is if you break your vow to Sookie. Mr. Northman I would like to thank you for your time I won't be needing it any further tonight. I have a chapter to finish scripting and I am taking you away from Sookie."

"Can I make a request Affynity?"

"That depends on the request I might give it some thought."

"I would like to take Sookie on a vacation. Might it be arranged?"

"Is something special going to happen on this vacation the next few days are going to be full. You have her interviews to attend, and a few things that have happened since your last POV, and a visit to her Gran. I can see what I can do."

He leaned over the desk and whispered in my ear. "Really? Well that does call for a celebration if she agrees I will get on that say maybe a week. Goodnight Mr. Northman."

"Goodnight Affynity"

I got up and left the office with a new purpose and much more satisfied with the results of this interview. I made my way to the Hilton and was relieved. I still can't believe that he didn't press for more information on his future. Ah well its for the best. Plus who can resist the viking.

*~ };- ~*


End file.
